The Handsome Family - The King Who Wouldn't Smile

There was a king who wouldn't smile
Sat on the toilet reading the trial
His dogs chased their tails 'round and 'round
Midget cars arrived stuffed with clowns who served him quail eggs on toast
There was a king who never laughed
Fell in love with a two-headed calf
Filled his bath with razor blades
Tattooed his arm with the ace of spades, but the grass made fun of his shoes
There was king who cried and cried
Mice crawled in his shoes to die
He cried so much that herds of deer gathered to lick his salty tears
So the king crawled under his bed
Like a fish at the bottom of a pail, like a cricketswallowed by a whale
Like a chipmunk who's chewed off his tail, the king who wouldn't smile